Good New Day you delicious Indigo beings of the Indigo Room.
So last night I was minding my own business sitting on my bed & checking my messages. It was a message from my sister. Beautiful loving message. She & her husband are coming into NY & she was giving me dates for a possible meet up.
Why was I triggered? Why did I start to spiral? And how did I come out of it?
See because I am in the middle or the end (not sure which) of my challenge I just didn’t have an answer to give her confirming which date would be good for us to meet up. And I was triggered by not being able to give her a firm answer because I did not know. What?? That bothered me. Not just that I didn’t know but shit I don’t know a lot of stuff. I don’t know what the next 5 mins are gonna bring never mind an entire week from now. Right then & there I began my descent into this profound sadness at not knowing my next steps or anything else for that matter. It didn’t take long for me to go from feeling ok, not bad to feeling almost depressed and definitely embarrassed.
I kept running thoughts into my mind about how sorely lacking I AM to lead anybody anywhere because I don’t even know where I am going. So I got up from that seat & got back to cleaning before the sunset for the day.
I started talking to Mother-Father God-dess in my thoughts an asked for help because I didn’t really like feeling this way. And I started fixing my dinner and got ready to watch a movie.
After a little while, I started having different thoughts all of a sudden. Not knowing anything is actually a good thing. Because I was coming from a place of Ego, feeling like I should know everything all at once. Had I known all of the steps beforehand I probably wouldn’t have taken any steps LOL. Being embarrassed is a good thing because it let me know I am coming from a place of ego. I figured out why, and dissolved the false self. Slowly I started feeling better.
What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below or in our Discord Channel
Namaste!!