I wondered if I focused my attention on those thoughts that made me feel better for as long as I still feel good doing so, if I can find even better feeling thoughts while I am still in this situation or condition? I started to make little games of it for myself. The more I played the games of finding the better feeling thought the more the games became interesting to me. I began to notice that I didn’t really need the condition to change in order for me to feel better. I didn’t necessarily feel better about the condition or the situation but I did feel better. Then I wondered if it is possible for me to feel better and better even though the condition hasn’t changed? What if the condition never changes? Can I still feel good? Do I need better conditions to feel better? So I began to notice that I didn’t, that I could literally find all kinds of ways for me to feel better. Wow!!! This was really interesting to me because I noticed that I did not need conditions to change in order for me to find just better feeling thoughts period.
Hey, Christmas is my Crack of Least Resistance. Hey, I found my crack of least resistance that Abraham was telling me about. There is absolutely no resistance in me when I think about Holiday times. Then I began to look for other cracks of least resistance. Then the journey began to get more interesting and more fun for me. Fun in a way that wasn’t all harps and roses, fun in a way that an explorer going on a dig finds a fragment of let’s say the Egyptian Pyramids. He hasn’t found the whole kingdom yet but found something that suprs him on to explore further.
One day I pondered, hey maybe I really can clean up my vibrations all together and get them all going in sort of one direction and you know what? As thoughts that I didn’t like or expereinces and conditions presented themselves that I still didn’t feel good about, there were some that did. I used the ones, the new ones as cracks of least resistance and milked them, sucked as much good feelings out of them as I could. (Still do that today, but the old thoughts the icky ones are becoming less and less) More new ideas, more new inspirations, new people, new thoughts started to pop up, more access to better feeling thoughts about certain conditions, situations and experiences in my life. Boy oh boy I am on to something here. I used those ideas, new thoughts, new inspirations to spur me even further. Most of the time they were different thoughts about old familiar ones. Now that may not seem like light bulb moments or new thoughts to someone else, but they felt like breaths of fresh air to me.
It’s like someone who buys a new car. Let’s say its your friend, they call you up and tell you they just bought a brand new car. They invite you, their good friend, to come over and take a look at it, or they drive it over to you. You can hear the excitement in their voice about their brand new car. Finally they arrive. Really the car is not brand new at all. It’s a used car, 10 years old, in need of a paint job…blah blah blah.
You are thinking to yourself…What the Hell? That’s not a brand new car and before you can censor yourself the words slip out…And your friend still in their glee says well it may not be brand new to you…but it feels brand new to me. Yesterday I was walking, bumming rides, riding the bus, but today I am driving myself around….Woooohoooo I feel good!!!!
That’s kind of the way these new thoughts about old conditions felt for me. So what feels good to me obviously has a whole different range of vibrations from what feels good to you when you are thinking thoughts. Your friend, the one who got the car, may now have a whole new range of different outlooks and thoughts to view their life from Now. A whole different range and a whole different perspective they never had access to before because they are allowing themselves to.
Take me for example Sydney Chase. I have been evicted out of where I’ve lived many times. Money and not having enough of it was always a big issue for me. Argh… Never owned a home in my life. As I found myself losing many of my material possessions, I felt less and less worthy. Less and less…but really Truth be told, what I had been doing most of my life was putting a happy face sticker on mostly everything. My feelings, my experiences, my thoughts…
I was always afraid of not being able to provide for my family…always struggling to make a dollar out of fifteen cents…LOL….we’ve lived in so many places it would make your head spin.
In 2001 I was evicted out of my apartment with my two sons…finally after years of being afraid of that happening it did. Had to put all my stuff in storage. We went to live with a good friend. I continued to try and maintain my business. Lost it my business the same year I had just received an award from the city of New York for being an up and coming African-American business. My business was at that time, one block away from the WTC…..Okay I can stand strong here…I thought…For another year I struggled to get back on my feet…I mean struggled. Found an apartment for me and my sons to live in in Jan 2002. But can I tell you that the background noise in my life was still fear and powerlessness and unworthiness…How long could I keep this apartment without us being homeless AGAIN? How was I going to get this business really rolling again? How was I going to keep my kids fed taken care of…yada yada yada OMG the FEAR was Massive right along there with guilt, doubt, lack, unworthiness, powerlessness, depression, blame, frustration and more…What a Mix!!. And yet if you looked at me I was always seeming to be happy go lucky. I was putting a BIG old happy FACE sticker on EVERYTHING!!!…I didn’t know I was doing that…but I kept telling myself that things would work out…I didn’t know how but it would. Yet I was always always thinking about how to stop it if it didn’t…I had been on a spiritual journey since 1995 but honestly I always felt behind the eight ball…And I was trying everything I could think of.