When you forgive and forget completely, you give up pain and you give yourself freedom.
What does that mean really? I mean really what does that mean?
Listen I know we are taught there are people who do not deserve our forgiveness, what they did is unforgivable and if we forgive them then we are letting them know they got away with it and we want them to know they didn’t of course. Right?
Then there is the other school of thought there is nothing to forgive, so just get happy.
I have found when I forgive a person or situation even myself I feel a release, a letting go, a wonderful surrender. I am no longer holding that person, situation or myself hostage in my thoughts.
I am not a hostage taker nor holder and this is exactly what we are doing when we choose not to forgive. We are taking and holding hostages in our minds which are of no use to us at all. It takes up entirely too much energy holding hostages. You have to feed them, clothe them, and watch for their escape every single day. For me its energy I could put to better use doing things I truly love.
Now sure you can find a way to just get happy. But what happens when you run into that person or that situation again. If all of the old pain and feelings start to rise up inside of you, well you haven’t really released it have you. I used to just get happy and not put my attention on the egregious act and when I’d run into that individual again those old feelings would rise up to the surface and the old pain would take over once again. I’d work to get happy again. What a waste of time.
I finally realized its much simpler to just have a radical change of consciousness and forgive the person, myself or the situation. Not only does forgiveness assist with releasing emotional pain but it has physical benefits too.
Once you forgive it really is not a far stretch to forgetting. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to continue to be friends or stay in a situation that is not good for you. Quite the contrary it just means you’ve let that person go to be, do, have whatever they are choosing and you wish them well. You don’t even have to tell the person you’ve forgiven them. Honestly it’s no one’s business but your own.
Here’s what I’ve learned if you say you forgive and anytime the person is brought up or the situation is brought up and you find that old pain coming up too, you haven’t forgiven, because you didn’t let it go. It’s still buried inside of you.
I’ve gotten this lesson many times over and over again. Forgiveness and Forgetting. Freedom works for me.