This is a re-post of something I wrote earlier this year…Since then alot has changed but I wanted to place it here as well. I will post things I’ve written before…
God Comes Through Every Single Time –Part 1
So here is something I am noticiing about me these days. I am not rushing to get anywhere any more. I am enjoying my journey, I mean really enjoying it. Sure Sure I’ve got quite a bit of desires percolating that have not come into physical form, quite a bit of them. The difference is I no longer feel bad that they haven’t manifested in physical form Yet. But there are alot of my desires that have really expanded into thought forms that are way beyond anything I ever allowed myself to think or ponder before. That is amazing. I mean they have really really grown into more…it’s interesting how much fuller they’ve become….Wow!!!
It’s wild to me…okay take for example my apartment…When I first started to use LOA deliberately and found out about what guidance my emotions were telling me…I was so beating the drum of what is, the reality I was currently living. All I wanted or thought I could have was all based on very small limited thoughts and feelings of fear and unworthiness. I had matched that perfectly. I figured well let me just think good thoughts about an apartment and think good thoughts about money and somehow things would change. I had very limited thoughts that is for sure. Oh I was thinking about a big beautiful apartment here in NYC which did make me feel good and I was thinking about having more money which also made me feel good but immediately after that I would look at where I was standing in my own physical shoes and well not feel good again. That was sort of making me nutz. Where was all my stuff I was thinking about? I cut out pictures, created vision boards…blah blah blah…but still nothing seemed to be changing for me. I was so beating the drum of what was, what is and I was beating mysef up too, telling myself that I wasn’t doing it right and comparing myself to this one or that one.
See I was mostly an Action oriented person…intellectually I just wanted to know what right Action to take. If the Universe could tell me what action to take maybe I could get this thing right and feel good in the process. So I approached the emotional journey as I approached just about everything in my life through action. When you approach everything through Action there really isn’t enough Action you can take to make a really big difference. Why? Because most of the majority of my actions taken were motivated actions based on FEAR. FEAR that if I don’t do XYZ now well then ABC is not going to happen…
If I don’t feel Joy right now well then I won’t have ABC or D and I want ABC and D to happen right now. Okay let me feel good period and then this thing I want to happen will happen. Okay let me pivot right now and change my thoughts towards what I want and think about it really hard. Again for a while there I was making myself nuts. I didn’t see any results and that’s what I wanted. RESULTS!! I wanted to prove the RESULTS more than I wanted to feel good.
I figured I was asking and I was praying and that was the thing. I was asking so much I wore myself out.
Here’s the thing I finally got and continue to get. I am always asking, every single moment of every single day I am alive and awake I am asking. Asking for what? A better life. Everytime I have an experience I don’t like or doesn’t feel good, I am asking for something I do like, do want to experience, do want to feel good about. Hmmmmm If I am always going to have a desire about something more, then maybe I might give some attention to what my vibration, my thoughts and feelings about my desires are. Maybe just maybe I could look at what my beliefs are about my life, about my desires and my experiences. Maybe I could look at this all quite differently.